Anyway, I come bearing good news. I’ve started making payments on a car. For me.

I’m buying my dad’s ’04 Jeep Grand Cherokee Laredo.

While I very much enjoy having my own set of wheels now, there’s just one thing I hate about the car (other than it’s bloodlust for gasoline), & that is…

The available performance modifications. I think there are about…five…that I’ve come across. For reference, I’ve been searching since about the last two weeks, almost daily, for several hours. It’s utter crap, but I’m going to do any & every thing I can. Then I’mma drive that thing to Idaho & have a track day with my cousins.

Also, the hipster in me made me sign up & start one of those Tumblr things. Check it out here. Speaking of hipsters, Hipster Hitler made me lol. As did Hyperbole and a Half. Checkity-check them out.

That’s pretty much all. Classes have started up & I’m actually enjoying them. At least now. We’ll see…

Oh, & if you’re the CMO (chief marketing officer) of a company like, I don’t know, we’ll use Jimmy John’s for example…shouldn’t you communicate with the people that work for you just as much as your customers? I think so. But what do I know, I’m just a kid.

Not.

JJ’s needs to stop half-assing the PR thing…

-Thom D

I do not own this image, but I forgot who I took it from...

So, last Thursday (11/2) I headed over to Sellers Buick at Grand River & 10 Mile Road in Farmington Hills. I wasn’t sure what was going to happen, being a younger-than-I-am looking twenty-two year old (I hate it now, but I’m sure in ten years I’ll wish I looked younger). I’d done some quick shopping & pricing online & found out that a very base Regal would be my best bet at affording anything that the General has to offer, other than Chevrolet.

I was warmly greeted by the receptionist who paged a salesman for me. That’s how I met Carl Merollis. We talked for a bit & I told him what I wanted, he looked for it, found it, gave me other options…overall, very helpful. At one point, he inquired if I would want a sunroof package, to which I responded, “well, it’s nice, but I can live without it.” Carl was incredibly respectful of that & didn’t push it on me any further. At Ford, when I was looking at a Fusion, I was told that “it would be cheaper” to add a sunroof, even though I gave them the same, “I can live without it” answer.

The helpfulness didn’t stop there, but we ran some numbers & came up with about $275 per month for a 39 month lease, with a $1500 down payment & approved co-signing credit through US Bank.

The numbers I was getting from Ford for a Fusion SE (Sync, 6-speed manual, sunroof, cloth seats) were around $300 per month. While not TOO much different from $275, it adds up.

So, let’s get back to this Buick. The base model Regal (RL1 package) comes with the following features as standard: leather seats, heated front seats, USB hookup (basically Sync), 3.55 mm input jack, 182hp I4 VVT engine, & 6-speed automatic transmission with Selectshift.

Yes, that is all standard on the RL1 package. For $275 per month. I won’t even lie, just from the included features alone, I’d take it over the Fusion. But there’s more…

After we crunched some numbers & I told Carl what I was looking for, he grabbed the keys to an RL3-equipped Regal. Same mechanics, just a few more fancy things (power passenger seat, rear backup sensors).

Just like when I took that 2010 Mustang GT for a spin, Carl didn’t come with me, which I again thought odd, & actually voiced this. He expressed a respectful opinion of his confidence in my driving & showed me a few quick things he thought I might need to know for the drive, & walked back inside the dealership.

First of all, the Driver Shift Control trans is fun as hell. I DO wish they offered the Regal in an authentic stick without having to upgrade to a Regal Turbo. I really like that third pedal. But still, DSC is awesome.

The Regal is powered by a 2.4L I4 VVT DOHC engine that makes about 182hp & 174 lb. ft. of torque & sips a nice 20 miles per gallon in the city, 30 miles per gallon on the highway. Not too bad. As is typical with FWD cars like this, it pulls a little to one side (in this case, the right) when accelerating hard. Yes, I did some pseudo-performance testing while on the drive, but I didn’t beat it to hell…

On that note, I should probably clarify that this car is pretty quick, for a four banger that weighs about 3,500 pounds. The 6-speed trans shifts very smoothly, which I thought was because of a dual clutch, but apparently it’s just really good engineering, because the Regal doesn’t have a dual clutch.

And speaking of the engineering, these cars, the Regals, are German engineered & are actually imported from Germany to the U.S. Which kind of sucks, just because it takes about five weeks to get one, assuming it’s already built. It doesn’t suck because it’s an extremely well built car. Nothing feels cheap.

Anyway, back to the test car itself. Interior was very nice. There’s a little bit of plastic moulding that starts at the back portion of the front doors & wraps forward to about the middle of the dash, but not all the way. It provides a wonderful contour & actually accomplishes what many auto companies dream of doing: it makes the driver (& probably the passenger, too) feel like the car is hugging them. It’s cozy, but not tight. As if they designed & engineered the car around the driver, instead of forcing the driver to conform TO the car. Everything is well placed & almost literally “at” your fingertips. I say “almost” because the far right portion of the radio controls were a little far from my fingertips, but I’ll just attribute that to me being short.

Road noise is very good. Or should I say, nonexistent. I was able to do a little highway driving on I-96W to get a feel for how the car feels cruising at specific speeds, while switching lanes, engine noise, & of course, road noise. It is a very quiet car. I would not mind spending a few hours on the road in this car.

As for handling, well, it’s a 3,500 lbs., FWD, German engineered car. How do you think it handled… If you said “very well,” then congratulations, you’re smarter than a fifth grader. Lane changes on the freeway were executable with one finger, but I wouldn’t advise driving that way. The steering itself isn’t too light, but it isn’t too hard either. I would describe it as “responsive.” Which it is. On the street, it handles well, but still feels well planted. And it should. It’s over five feet wide, low to the ground, & steered with 18″ alloy wheels (standard, too).

The trunk is huge, too. You could easily fit luggage for five people in the cargo area & have a little room left over, which is always nice. Didn’t check the rear seat legroom, but by glancing back, it’s about the same as a Fusion. I’m seeing a very desirable, & reoccurring, theme here…

That strake (character line) is nice. Well done, Buick.

Anyway, a few things that really stood out to me, at least design-wise, were, of course, the strakes on the exterior side sheet metal. The doors look, literally, sculpted. They can look one way in a certain light & a completely different way in another light. It’s so cool! Also, I didn’t see them at the time, but apparently it has daytime running LED lights up front. Nothing too fancy, just a few acute angles, but it looks good. Audi good, not “aftermarket” good, which doesn’t really ever look good…

Overall, the car is a new theme from Buick. Where once we thought of them as our grandparents’ car, we should now consider them on par with BMW & Mercedes-Benz. For close to literally half the cost. Like I said at the beginning, this is not your grandparents’ car any more. Buick is changing. I suggest you change with it.

Questions or suggestions? Send me an email..

This year's "carved" pumpkin.

Oh, & Go Blue.

Anyway, we started going almost weekly. Every Friday night, for my family’s “pizza & movie night” of sorts. Eventually, they got to know mostly just my dad & I, since we would alternate between picking it up as our schedule allowed. Or something. Always, it was the same thing: a large pepperoni pizza. That’s it. Originally, it was just five bucks, but for some reason it was increased to $7.50, & now twelve bucks. Not a great thing, but we still go there multiple times a month.

By now, probably close to eight years later, the owner, Andy Nofar, & I know each other by name & even over the phone, all I need to ask for is a large pepperoni & he responds with “for Douglas?” It’s great. I’m not saying Dominoes or Pizza Hut don’t have that same customer relationship. For example, there’s a Pizza Hut on Novi Road just south of 9 Mile Road. We ordered from them ONLY for several months, always with the same order: large veggie lovers, & never had “for Douglas” asked of us.

For even more perspective, Pizza Hut has recently done this WILD crazy thing of lowering the price of their pizzas from about $15 to $10 for any size. That’s two bucks cheaper than Pizza Marvelous’ pizzas. But I continue to give Andy my business because of the experience their establishment provides, & also because I know it’s not easy to found & maintain your own business. His pizza company makes a mad good pizza &, while more money than Pizza Hut’s, it’s ultimately the experience that keeps me coming back.

My garage…

Anyway, being a dirtbike from 1978, the tires are getting some dry-rot, a few gaskets could stand to be replaced…& of course, it’s filthy.

So, last weekend I decided to bring it home so I can clean it up, do a few repairs, & maybe trailer it to this sweet Velodrome recently reinstated in Detroit. Yeah, how awesome is that!

So far, I haven’t gotten very far (I just started today). I have the basic, easier stuff off, like the rear tray, seat, chain guard, & oil tank. Draining that thing was one of the easiest things ever, except that the screw used to drain it came out (I didn’t anticipate it coming all the way loose) & fell into the can I was draining the old oil into. Had to stick my hand in & fish it out. That was fun…

So right now, I smell like sweat, oil, grease, & a little bit of petrol. I wish some company would make this a scent (minus the “sweat”) because I would totally wear it.

Anyway, that’s basically it. Just wanted to let “everyone” know that I finally have a project. Although I’d STILL like a ’53 Buick. Gonna work on that tomorrow with dad. Should be…interesting, to say the least.

Here are some photos (they were all taken at the same time, so the only thing different is the angle at which they were taken. Enjoy.

©2010 Thom Douglas

©2010 Thom Douglas

©2010 Thom Douglas

But is newer always better?

1954 Buick Century (image copyright GMBlogs.com)

My current infatuation (at least for a few more hours) is this 1954 Buick Century. I say “a few more hours” because the seller is moving today. & I don’t know where to. Bummer, too, since it’s only $1800 (or less, according to the description) for a running, driving, basically fine piece of automotive history. But I digress…

Typically, I research whatever car I’m currently interested in. Can’t hurt, right? So here, although applicable to many cars of its day, is why a 1954 Buick is better than your car.

#10 – It’s a Boat

The typical wheelbase for the 1954 Buick Century was 122 inches. That’s the entire length of my friends Mk. IV Jetta… The overall length was 206.3 inches. Because this is America, dammit! And if it’s not big, it’s not good. It also cashed in at around two tones (4,000 lbs). Hell, that’s only a half-ton lighter than a Hummer H3. Except people won’t hate you for driving a classic Buick…

#9 – It’s Spacious

That 206″ length comprises of the engine bay, the cabin, & the trunk. The engine bay alone can comfortably fit a 455 big-block V8. Easily. Cabin? A driver & five passengers. Maybe six or seven, depending on their physique. The trunk can graciously hold SEVERAL bodies. I mean, “lots of groceries.” Seriously, it’s massive. Like a salt mine.

#8 – Whitewalls

I don’t know about anyone else, but I’d rather see more cars with whitewall tires than with these stupid, “lo-pro” (low profile) tires. You know the ones. Impossibly large, 30″ wheels with only 1″ of rubber along the rims. Terrible. Eh, yeah, so whitewalls might require a little more upkeep. And “eh,” yeah, American’s are slowly becoming more inept at taking care of their own cars, but come on…whitewalls!

#7 – Two-Tone

Not many cars can pull off a two-tone paint job. Actually, NO cars can pull off a two-tone paint job. But sixty years ago, it was incredibly popular, AND good looking. I’d much rather gaze upon a two or three-toned ’54 Buick, than your ’96 Caprice with the same scheme. Ugh.

#6 – Simpler Mechanics

Ever try doing your own engine work on a car that’s newer than 1988? Neither have I, but it’s difficult as hell, isn’t it? There’s all these wires for the electronic throttle control, or whatever. That stuff’s hard to work on/fix/replace by yourself. Step back a few decades, to when pushrod carburetors were “in.” That alone just makes things easier. Not to mention there aren’t a billion wires you need to watch out for.

#5 – It’s Not Too Much

Heated seats? What? Why? Who needs those? Good lord, get some clothing that’s actually for winter! Coupled with the lack of heated seats (which is NOT as big of a deal as people make it), there’s also the lack of a nav system. Or a compass. Or a temperature gauge (not counting the one for the oil). Hell, there isn’t even FM radio. It’s simple, utilitarian, & functional. There’s no more than you need.

#4 – Whoa, what? No radio?!

Yeah, that’s right. No FM radio. You’re stuck with the crackly, always distant sounding AM version of NPR or BBC. I mean, on the plus side, this is eliminating the possibility of getting in an accident due to constantly changing the radio station. Since there pretty much ISN’T radio, why bother? In conclusion, lack of radio = increased driver awareness…maybe.

#3 – Drum Brakes

Drum brakes aren’t as good as disc. So you might actually have to stop tailgating that ’92 Honda Civic who’s-running-on-fumes-&-a-manifold-leak-but-just-replaced-his-brake-pads. Drums will make you drive defensively. See that green light half a mile up? Start braking now, because it’ll be red by the time you get there.

#2 – Vent Windows

If styling & chrome aren’t reasons you want a classic car, then “vent windows” should be. It’s for when you want a breeze, but not a full-on hurricane in the car. Plus they just look as awesome as Frank Sinatra in the recording studio with a cigarette.

#1 – It’s a Looker

At this point, it’s pretty much a culmination of (almost) all of the previous points. Not really, just the cosmetic ones. Even in somewhat rough shape a ’54 Buick just looks damn good. Maybe it’s the chrome “whisp” from the front quarters to the rear door rocker panels. Maybe it’s the chromed up, waterfall-style grille up front. Maybe it’s the medium-sized bullets protruding out from the rear bumper. Whatever it is, no matter what condition it’s in, it WILL get looks. GOOD looks, too. Not just, “ew, why is that even on the road” looks, though it may get a few of those…

If you can think of any more reasons why a ’54 Buick Century, or any classic, is better than pretty much any car after 1972, go ahead & email me & I’ll see if I can’t eek another comparative post out soon.

This frustration rises exponentially when I’m “window shopping” for a car on Craigslist. I come across one in which I’m halfway interested (usually within the late 1930′s, late 40′s, early 50′s or late 60′s model years) & then see the price.

When you want $4,000 for a rusted up, disassembled, & probably incomplete, shell of a *insert faux-rare model here*, you probably (unintentionally, of course) aren’t trying to sell it to anyone under the age of 40. Then you, the “older” car enthusiast, turns around to bitch & moan about how your “old car enthusiast culture” is dying because we, the younger generation, seem to be disinterested in your culture.

News flash, old timer(s): it’s not that we’re not interested, on the contrary, we’re very interested.

The problem is that you price these “collector” cars at ridiculously high prices. So, you poured half your retirement fund into restoring it. No one told you to do that. Yes, the car looks great, but don’t expect to make back what you put into it, then plus whatever that bullsh*t KBB says the car is worth.

The only people who can afford these immaculately restored cars are people of your age group. No wonder the classic car culture is dying. The only people who can afford them literally ARE…dying.

Now, to be fair, I have no problem with a “well maintained” classic, priced reasonably at $10,000. If the upholstery is good, the paint is decent, & there is little or no rust, that’s definitely 100 Benjamins well spent.

But when you come on the internets & you post a rusted up, non-running, “they made 1 million of these cars, but it’s definitely rare” Ford for $10,000, that is NOT 100 Benjamins well spent. In fact, it’s literally a waste of money. And time, both on your part & the readers’/shoppers’ part.

I see postings all the time for classic cars with low-ish miles (40-50k), in decent shape, & drivable. And then I see their $6,000 price tag. That is a hell of a deal if you ask me. My favourite postings are the ones that have a 30′s, 40′s, or 50′s car for sale & in the description it says “this was/is my daily driver.” Dear seller, you’re doin’ it right.

I can justify giving you $10k for a car if it looks presentable, IF…& only “if,” it is not “perfect” because it’s your daily driver. Anyone who appreciates a classic for what it is: a car to be driven, deserves to have an extra $2k added to their asking price, because they know the true value of the vehicle they are trying to sell. As long as you can upkeep your classic AND use it as a daily driver, you have my respect & money.

I CAN’T justify giving you $10k for a car that is in perfect condition that  you just let sit in your garage in between seasons/car shows. I don’t care that it’s never seen rain or snow. You know what that tells me? It tells me that this isn’t a car to you. It tells me that you think this car is some sort of trophy. Something to be looked at & never truly driven for fear of God only knows what.

If it’s not in decent shape because you’re neglectful, then that tells me that the car means less to you than it does to the man who thinks it’s a trophy. It tells me you think it’s equivalent to a paper napkin: something to be disposed & forgotten about. Since that’s what it appears to be, you should probably just drop the asking price to “free.”

But getting back to immaculately restored, never driven cars…

So one or two parts might be a little hard to find. That’s not worth not driving the car. Don’t not drive it because you’re afraid something will break. Cross that bridge when you come to it.

Classics are not “special.” They are not “rare.” They are not meant to be roped off so a child can’t touch them. They are cars, meant to be driven, enjoyed, used, & loved. Not the faux-driven, faux-enjoyed, faux-used, or faux-loved like too many classics are. If you have a true, unadulterated passion for automobiles, not just classics, you will understand this article. If not, then I’m sorry I’ve wasted your time. If you feel so inclined, send me an angry email that I will just post & make a mockery of in a later article.

Frank was the gentleman who helped us after a few minutes wait. Pretty nice guy, fairly knowledgeable about the Fiesta, but got kind of confused with Sync during the drive… Anyway, we first grabbed a sedan with a manual, which Frank took us around in for a few minutes, because of my obviously poor stick skills (at least for now…).

©2010 MotorTrend

Upon the return to the dealership, we hopped in a ‘Lime Squeeze Metallic’ hatchback (which I preferred over the sedan body style, mostly because it looks less like a cheap Kia Rio), equipped with a fairly quick slushbox (aka: automatic trans). Ford must have geared the Fiesta’s auto trans pretty close, because off the line, it’s a pretty quick car.

©2010 MotorTrend

The interior is decent, albeit has a slight cheap feeling to it. A lot of the material is plastic or composite, but looks good. With the exception of the centre console, which is still my least favourite design aspect of the Fiesta. Apparently Ford designers decided it would be cool to make it look like a cell phone. Can’t say, as a potential consumer, that I would agree, but whatevs. I can live with it.

Anyway, everything is pretty easy to see & find on the car’s interior. I had a little trouble finding the seat adjustment, but “meh.” Another thing that sort of “irked” me (more so Josh) was the rear seat space. According to Josh, it’s tiny. But then again, he’s a 6’2″ tall guy sitting in the rear seat of a sub-compact. Although I never sat in the back seat, I glanced back & it DID look rather tight, even for me. Another side note: if this were hypothetically my car, I wouldn’t care, because I never really drive with more than one or two people in the car at a time. Trunk space was…decent, for a hatch. Of course, the rear seats could be folded down to extend this storage space for longer trips to…wherever.

I didn’t get a look at the engine, unfortunately. I think all three of our minds were somewhere else & just forgot to ask…

INTERMISSION!

After an unusually non-pushy sit-down with Frank, Josh & I proceeded to the Mazda/Volkswagen dealership located at that weird, Grand River & 10 Mile Road junction thing. By M-5. Yeah, that one. Anyway, we were greeted by Dan, who hooked us up with a REALLY nice GTI.

©2010 Edmunds Insideline

There was a kid about a year older than me who was still in training who also assisted us. Vince. It was his third day on the job & we were his test subjects. Dan walked us (& Vince) around the car, demonstrating to Vince how to show a car to a potential customer. In one instance, to show off the quality of the GTI, Dan opens the driver’s door & proceeds to lean on it, with all of his body weight. Feet off the ground & everything, just hanging on by his hands. It was awesome, but I thought he was going to break the car… Seriously though, the GTI has some SERIOUS forged door hinges. Who’s got two thumbs & is impressed with the GTI’s build quality? This guy (*points to self*).

Right, so after running through the car, Dan allowed Vince to be the one to monitor the test drive. That ended up going well because Vince was just as into cars as I am. Good discussions were had, more so about OTHER cars than the GTI, but whenever I had a question, or something had slipped Vince’s mind, the answer was readily available.

©2010 Car & Driver

The interior of the GTI is pretty sweet. Apparently there’s a “plaid seat” option. Yes. Plaid seats. I have to say, that was probably my favourite part about the car. Yes, the turbo’d 4-banger was fun, don’t get me wrong. Overall, it’s probably faster than the Fiesta, but off the line it felt a bit sluggish, even in sport mode. But after a 1-2 second delay…that baby flew. Maybe it’s part supercar, & that’s why it costs (as driven) a good $8,000 more than the (as driven) Fiesta. The auto trans I tested out was my favourite kind: a manumatic. Basically, it’s an auto, but if you want, you can “shift” gears, without worrying about a clutch. Fun stuff.

Overall, I’d pick the Fiesta. I prefer the styling to that of the GTI. And the price tag. Granted, these two cars are NOT in the same league. The GTI is less of an econobox & more of a sport compact, whereas the Fiesta is more of a fun, inexpensive car for a family just starting out.

Or a college kid. Just sayin’…

Anyway, the Fiesta, as driven, was $18,890. The GTI, as driven, was $26,000-something. Can’t remember exactly. ALTHOUGH, I would gladly give up either car for a 1949 Cadillac Series 62 sedan. So, you know, if anyone is feeling generous, I really wouldn’t say “no” to something like that…

“FROM THE DESK OF DR.ISSA ADAMU
AUDITING AND ACCOUNTING MANAGER,
BANK OF AFRICA (B.O.A)
OUAGADOUGOU-BURKINA FASO.

Dear Friend,

I am the manager of auditing and accounting department of BANK OF AFRICA (B.O.A) here in Ouagadougou, Burkina Faso. In my department we discovered an
abandoned sum of US$20.5m dollars (Twenty Million Five Hundred Thousand US dollars) in an account that belongs to one of our foreign customer (MR. RICHARD BURSON from Florida, U.S.A) who died along with his entire family on November 1999 in a plane crash.For more informations about the crash you can
visit this site: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/502503.stm

Since we got information about his death, we have been expecting his next of kin to come over and claim his money because we can not release it unless some body applies for it as next of kin or relation to the deceased as indicated in our banking guidlings and laws but unfortunately we learnt that all his supposed next of kin or relation died alongside with him at the plane crash leaving nobody behind for the claim. It is therefore upon this discovery that I now decided to make this business proposal to you,so that the money can be release to you as the next of kin or relation to the deceased for safety and subsequent disbursement since nobody will come for it and we don’t want this money to go into the bank treasury as unclaimed dormant fund.
The banking law and guidline here stipulates that if such money remained unclaimed after eleven years the money will be transfered into the bank treasury as unclaimed dormant fund. The request of foreigner as next of kin in this business is occassioned by the fact that the customer was a foreigner and a Burkinabe like me can not stand as next of kin to a foreigner.
I agreed that 40% of this money will be for you as a respect to the provision of a foriegn account ,10% will be set aside for expenses incurred during the business and 50% would be for me.Thereafter, I will visit your country for disbursement according to the percentage indicated Therefore, to enable the immediate transfer of this fund to you arranged,you must apply first to the bank as relation or next of kin to the deceased customer with a text of application that i will send to you,but before i send to you the
text of application form,I will like you to send me the following informatios

1.NAME IN FULL:…………………………..
2.ADDRESS:…………………………………
3.NATIONALITY:……………………………. .
4.AGE:………………………………………
5.Sex……………………………………….
6.OCCUPATION:………………………………..
7.MARITAL STATUS:…………………………….
8.PRIAVTE PHONE NO……………………………………..
9.PRIVATE FAX NO:………………………………………
10.ATTACH COPY OF YOUR IDENTIFICATION………………………

so i will like you to send to me those informations for easy and effective communication.Upon receipt of your reply, I will send to you by fax or email the text of the application form.I will not fail to bring to your notice that this transaction is hitch-free and that you should not entertain any atom of fear as all required arrangements have been made for the transfer. You should contact me immediately as soon as you receive this letter,if only you are
intrested and ready to help. Trusting to hear from you immediately.

DR.ISSA ADAMU
MANAGER AUDITING AND ACCOUNTING DEPARTMENT
BANK OF AFRICA”

Yeah, that’s pretty much it. I’m possibly going to look at a ’56 Buick Special this Saturday with a friend. Basically just for kicks & giggles. Not like I’m going to buy it or anything THAT crazy…